What did you want to be when you grew up?sandlot-01

When I was in school, I was fascinated with outer space. I thought I wanted to be a scientist and work for NASA. Over time, I discovered more about my natural gifts and inclinations, not to mention limitations and so I quietly gave up this ambition without any real fanfare.

I was unusual in my boyhood ambitions. Many boys do not dream about going to work for NASA. On the contrary, it is no secret that many boys, a majority, harbor hopes and dreams of being professional athletes. I know this because I am a teacher and talk regularly to children about what they want to be when they grow up.

A teacher.

A veterinarian.

A doctor.

Those youthful ambitions are almost exclusively held by the female students. The boys on the other hand, by a wide margin, tell me that they want to play for a living. They want to be soccer players, baseball or basketball players. They want to be stars. They don’t dream of being writers or artists (though there are plenty of males in both of those fields.) The one widely acceptable career goal for boys is to throw, catch and hit a ball for a living.

I did not always think this was a big deal. Who cares, they are just silly childhood dreams, right? But the more I think about it, especially now that I’m going to be a dad, I have to wonder why so many boys dream of lives of athletic conquest, if we as adults are encouraging this fantasy, and if it is even a healthy dream to begin with.

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You know, we might have been wrong in how we pegged the millennial generation.

It’s now a known cliche that every generation complains about young people, calling them selfish, rude, lazy, and all the other adjectives that otherwise illustrate how young folks don’t measure up.

I’m on the front edge of the millennial generation, and from what I can see, there is certainly a lot of ambition. There is a lot of passion and energy to not just live or survive, but to do great work. In many ways, people today are just as driven and ambitious as people have always been.

You might know that last week, Elaine Stritch passed away at age 89. She was about as far from a “millennial” as anyone can be, from a completely different generation. She spent her life on the stage and screen with her brassy, even caustic sense of humor. Of course, people my age probably only know her from 30 Rock. 

Sure, Stritch had plenty of struggles and none of them were ever hidden. But by any measure, she had a very long and successful career, something that would make any young millennial happy to dream about.

Yet, at the end of her life, when she could look back on all of her achievements and all of the laughs and ovations she received, she did not think much of it. She loved her work, but her success never made her feel secure. Her stage work never gave her any self esteem. She was eternally tied to her work. But at the end of her life, she seemed to know something that many of us do not: that success is not nearly what we imagine it to be.

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When we are old and looking back on our lives, I wonder if we will fondly reminisce about the hours we spent trying to be successful. I wonder if we will realize that there is more to our lives than making our names known and our careers great. I wonder if we will realize that our security and self-worth is not necessarily defined by our success.

It’s Friday, and a beautiful one at that, thank you “polar vortex.”

I hope it’s been as nice in your neck of the woods as it has been here in Kansas City. While it’s actually been cool enough in the house to cook, I got this crazy idea to cook a whole bunch of food and stick it in the deep freeze to save for winter. Not too shabby getting something like twenty dinners made from about the same number of ingredients.

Yeah, it’s been a busy week full of writing, working and trying to enjoy a couple more weeks of summer before we head back to school for teacher in-service. Oh, and the tallest water slide in the world just opened up here, so I’m gonna have to make time for that too.

So, what fueled me this week?

On My Radio

I don’t listen to NPR all the time, but on the select occasions that I do, I usually find something to enjoy. Their series on manhood in America has been fantastic, especially this entry about the three scariest words a boy can hear. We were all told at one time or another to “be a man” and “being a man” is usually defined in pretty narrow terms.

In My Blog Reader

What a fantastic post from Sharon Hodde Miller at Christianity Today. Have you ever heard a sermon about body image? I cannot say that I have. We sure talk about it plenty here in blog-land. What would happen if we actually had some pulpit space reserved for the topic? Do pastors think they can’t talk about bodies since body image is usually a “women’s” issue? I don’t know.

We are a culture obsessed with leadership. I bet everyone can name five “leadership” traits right now. Stuff like communication, critical thinking, vision. Those are all the things that we want in leaders. This post from Chris at No Superheroes is a fantastic antidote, the most overlooked leadership traits.

A fantastic post from Mary DeMuth on her burning out for Jesus. How many of us are teetering on the edge? We are meant to burn for Jesus, not burn out. Mary doesn’t offer any answers on burnout, just empathy. And that’s great, because most of us who have burned out feel like we are alone.

Finally, this fun little list of pictures from Zack Hunt just made my day. What does it mean to be a “oh by the way” church?

Yep, those are the things that fueled me this week. What about you?

By the time our little one come into the world, Cheri and I will have been married almost nine years.

No, this is not the new kid's room. I just hacked my wife's Pinterest account.

No, this is not the new kid’s room. I just hacked my wife’s Pinterest account.

About half of that time was spent as quasi-newlyweds. And then the other half was spent trying to have kids.

I know what you might be thinking. You might be thinking that after that long, we are going to be in for a big surprise. This kid is going to wreck all of our habits and routines that we hold so precious. And you’d be right. But we are not going to be surprised when it happens.

Here’s the thing: we have gotten really good at not having kids. I don’t mean we are locked into our comfortable little childless rut. What I mean is that trying – and not having – kids for over four years has given us a lot of insight into what it means to have children, and what it does not mean.

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You know, we have a weird relationship with doubt. 

We talk a big game. We like to say that we are very accepting and open-minded toward others. But when it comes to talking about the things that are really important to us, we suddenly change our tune.

Look at how we talk about politics or faith for that matter. We are obsessed with figuring out who is in and who is out. As soon as we band together as believers, we feel the need for a new litmus test, a more stringent set of beliefs to determine who are the true believers and who are the imposters, the fakes, the frauds and saboteurs. When someone around us doubts, it feels like an attack. It makes us afraid, fearful that we might have to start doubting something that we have taken for granted. Maybe we become fearful that we have been duped. The result is that we are more polarized, divided and suspicious of one another than ever.

The truth is that doubt, the most important kinds of doubts about God, about life, about everything around us, are usually not at their heart an intellectual exercise.

Doubt is born of disappointment. 

We believed that life was this way, that God was that way, and then it turns out to not be true. We grieve the loss of this cherished belief. That is why doubt is traumatic and troubling. Our doubts about God do not usually come out of the clear blue sky. They come from some deep hurt that we are grieving. Often, people who are in doubt about their faith are not in attack mode. They are often in survival mode or defense mode.

I found a verse this weekend that I do not think I have ever paid any attention to. I wonder what would happen if we tried to live it this week.

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Some of the biggest seasons of doubt I ever experienced were the product of great loss and disappointment. What about you?

Happy Friday, friends.

Shockingly, I have just three weeks of summer vacation left before I have to head back to school, practically a crime against nature. But I’m making the most of it with a lot of writing, a lot of baby prep and even a bit of reading on the side.

On My Bookshelf

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Cheri and I are not parenting book kind of people. We look at most parenting philosophies hawked by experts through a skeptical eye day because we have realized that it is not children that frighten us, it is parenting. Nevertheless, in between the baby name books that we have been scouring, I found French Kids Eat Everything. Not only is it a fascinating and delightful book, but it’s not really just a parenting book either. It’s a novel, a summarized philosophy and a cookbook. Three for the price of one.

In My Blog Reader

Catching up on my blog reading after the holiday was a treat. My pal, Zach Hunt came through with this gem Twelve Biblical Principles You’re (Probably) Not Living By. The whole thing begs the question: when can we stop using the Bible as a weapon to beat people into submission? Is the gospel good news or isn’t it?

I have written before about how every conversation about modesty (specifically, female modesty) miss the point. So I was really interested to see why Anne Marie Miller thinks the conversation is missing the point. An especially timely post to coincide with our national celebration of freedom.

Abby Norman over at Accidental Devotional wrote a fantastic little post about thinking in black and white and how the truth is always messier than we imagine it to be, especially when it comes to the truth about ourselves.

And finally, Shawn Groves asks a really pointed and convicting question: what is the least I can give? I have not met anyone in the “fifty-percent tithe” movement, at least to my knowledge. My guess is that far more of us are in the other category.

In My Video Browser

My friend Emily’s book, Atlas Girl is now on sale and she has released this trailer for the book. Check it out.


And that’s what fueled me this week. What about you?